What is ‘Prema’?

Prema is a Sanskrit word often translated as divine love, pure love, or unconditional love. It describes a form of love that does not demand anything in return; a love that is freely given, without attachment or expectation.

In Indian spiritual traditions, prema is often understood as a deeply transformative state of love and devotion. It can be cultivated through spiritual practice, meditation, devotion, and a gradual movement beyond the boundaries of the individual self.

While Buddhism does not generally use prema as its central term for the ultimate goal of spiritual practice, it shares a closely related emphasis on cultivating qualities such as mettā, or loving-kindness, and karuṇā, or compassion. These practices encourage us to move beyond self-centeredness and develop a love and compassion that extends to all beings.

For me, Prema represents more than simply the feeling of love. It represents the journey toward becoming capable of giving and receiving love without fear, possession, or expectation, a journey toward seeing the sacredness of life and our connection to one another.

This was, and still is, something I greatly need(ed).

After having my baby, my world seemed to flip upside down. I love my baby unconditionally, and for me, she was never the source of my stress – although she certainly was the source of some serious sleep deprivation. Instead, my multigenerational household became something very different from what I had imagined it would be.

I have love for everyone in my family, but bringing a baby into the mix made me realize how important it was to establish boundaries. I began to understand that loving someone does not mean allowing everything, and that having boundaries does not mean that you love someone any less.

Finding Buddhism, and this beautiful idea of reaching a state of unattachment and inner peace, seemed to call to me. It felt as though I was being shown something I desperately needed to hear: I needed to let go.

Not let go of the people I love, but let go of the things I could not control. Let go of the expectations I had placed on others. Let go of the need for everything to be the way I thought it should be.

Perhaps that is where my journey toward Prema truly began.